the fear that comes when you are not making...

[...When I don't write, there is a very strange moment when I go to sleep.  At that moment in a sort of half sleep,  all of a sudden I'm terrified by what I'm doing. I tell myself: "you are crazy to write this", and there is a kind of panic in my subconcious...How I interpret this is: when I am awake working, in a certain way I am more unconscious than in my half sleep. When I'm in that half sleep there is a kind of vigilance that tells me what I am doing is very serious. But when I am awake and working the vigilance is actually asleep. It's not the stronger of the two. And so I do what must be done.]  Jaques Derrida, interview

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